Holland-days: not just a delicious sauce

My family has come for a 2 week visit. I am celebrating by being...

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 09:31:54 +0200

My family has come for a 2 week visit. I am celebrating by being a tourist.

The best way to not be bothered by street-sellers

Tue, 04 Jun 2013 10:00:53 +0200

Young Dude: "Hallo Mevrouw! Mag ik u..."
Me: "Sorry, I don't speak Dutch."
Young Dude: "I can speak English!"
Me: "Je m'excuse je ne parle pas l'anglais"
Young Dude: ...

Why don't "sponsored cyclists" use bike-bells

Mon, 03 Jun 2013 17:10:57 +0200

heatherhates:

alittlewater:

a) because that extra 100 grams is too heavy
b) because they take pleasure in scaring the shit out of you as they whiz by
c) because they secretly want to kill you
d) because they’d rather yell at you as if the world’s on fire

(I’m pretty sure it’s all of these you guys.)

Or maybe because a bell is less effective for communicating info than yelling “on your left” or “on your right”, which make their position to you much clearer as they’re passing… idk

That would be awesome if they did that, but honestly, in the two years I’ve been here I’ve never heard such constructive yells. Most of the time they say nothing, or bellow “kijk uit!” (or swear) right when they’re in someone’s blind spot. In the past month I can count on both hands how many people in Tilburg I’ve seen wipe out or almost wipe out because of these antics. Maybe it’s a regional thing, idk? Your version of this sounds better though heatherhates. Let’s make it a thing…

Why don't "sponsored cyclists" use bike-bells

Mon, 03 Jun 2013 07:56:00 +0200

a) because that extra 100 grams is too heavy
b) because they take pleasure in scaring the shit out of you as they whiz by
c) because they secretly want to kill you
d) because they’d rather yell at you as if the world’s on fire

(I’m pretty sure it’s all of these you guys.)

How to get a free bicycle in Holland

Sat, 18 May 2013 23:12:50 +0200

1. Approach group of cyclists.
2. Shout out “hey that’s my bike!”
3. Collect bike(s) left behind.

Excessive: extreme to the point of being unnecessary Example:...

Fri, 26 Apr 2013 19:56:52 +0200

Excessive: extreme to the point of being unnecessary

Example: when you connect a North American device to a European power adapter in order to make it compatible to a second, UK power adapter.

Word (r)evolution

Tue, 09 Apr 2013 22:06:00 +0200

Me: is there a Dutch equivalent of the word "queer?"
My Dutch Teacher: Yes, "flicker," but it's a VERY negative word. Just like queer, it's a very insulting term for homosexuals.
Me:...uh, queer isn't really an insult anymore.
My Dutch Teacher: Oh?
Me: No. It's a word for anyone. Queer is for gays, bisexuals, pansexuals, transexuals, asexuals, transvestites, two-spirited people, even people who are straight but don't feel right about the ideas of what is "normal." Being queer is being what you want, while also saying that what you should be is actually, kinda oppressive.
My Dutch Teacher: Is that really what the word means now?
Me: ...to more and more people every day...yeah.
My Dutch Teacher: That...is AWESOME.

Moral: when a middle-aged, European woman congratulates North-Americans on gender-bending, take it as a compliment. I do.

Ik ben jarig

Wed, 27 Mar 2013 08:14:00 +0100

Not much else to say there. Just happy I can say it in Dutch.

Have a good day for me everyone :)

(Image from Kevin&Amanda)

quite possibly my favourite thing in Albert Heijn grocery stores...

Fri, 15 Mar 2013 00:00:58 +0100

quite possibly my favourite thing in Albert Heijn grocery stores are these veggie triangle things. Dip em’ in mulligatawny and colour me joyous.

Mulliga…wha?! Mulliga…recipe!

So, Christmas was a long time ago...

Tue, 12 Mar 2013 07:49:39 +0100

Question: what happens when you go on vacation for a month?

Answer: unicorns and rainbows and euphoria abound?

Question: wait, I didn’t word that properly. What happens when you return to work after going on vacation for a month?

Answer: …you get sucked into a dizzying black hole of despair and don’t come out for several months?

Bingo.

Truth be told kids, I had a lot of blog plans for the past few months. I took my partner snowmobiling in Canada and got some beautiful, snowy photos, we went to the carnival parade and saw a lot of weird, we’ve done some nifty things to our place, and I had a lot of Dutch-isms to comment on.

But work happened. And then some.

While In Canada, I was notified of a mandatory Dutch course I would need to start as soon as I returned. This course is 8 some odd hours per week, and will haunt my path for a year. At the end of it I will take a “stats” exam (whatever that is), and I think bad things happen if I fail. I haven’t had time to think about that yet because of the whole “black hole” thing, but I will say one thing…

Hard class is hard. Like, uber hard. But let’s not talk about that…

…when we could be eating cake.

(posts will be more frequent I promise.)

Happy New Years Tumblr folk! May yours be just as crazy as ours.

Tue, 01 Jan 2013 18:46:05 +0100

Happy New Years Tumblr folk! May yours be just as crazy as ours.

We got a wee bit of snow yesterday. Ah, Ottawa!

Fri, 28 Dec 2012 16:19:42 +0100

We got a wee bit of snow yesterday. Ah, Ottawa!

Ikea Hax: jewelry armoire

Wed, 26 Dec 2012 22:17:49 +0100

Here’s a secret about me. I collect jewelry. Vintage, quirky, handmade, costume: I love them all. Because of this love, I have accumulated a lot of jewelry, and the process of moving has forced them to live in odd places with no order.

like so.

It’s very tragic you see, all these lovely things strewn about without homes occasionally tumbling onto the floor and putting themselves in harms way for me to step on them. At 6am. When I am in a sleep coma.

It was in those painful moments that I realized: I needed a jewelry storage solution.

Ah the jewelry armoire! So precious and practical. Also, so EXPENSIVE. G’damn it all if I can justify spending $300+ shiney coins for an oversized gem box. I searched Google to no avail for DIY jewelry storage solutions I liked, but I was not thwarted because I had closet space, ikea and industrial strength glue.

With such provisions, how could I fail?

Shopping list:

- 6 PAX shelves (2 for 10 euros)

- 7 FORHOJA cutlery trays (5.99 euros a piece)

- 7 SATTA knobs (.33 cents a piece)

Holes were drilled. Shelves were installed. Knobs were…uninspiring.

I stared at them (while drinking a mudslide) until a great idea was found (at the bottom of said mudslide):

bits and bobs of broken jewelry, beads, and other objects were collected.

Then glued onto each knob and shellacked into place.

Side note: knob is a funny word. Especially if you pronounce it as it is spelled.

Much glue was used. Much patience was required. Much time was spent. But oh! How happy I was with them when they were finally finished.

I have found my new calling: “knob decorator.” I’ll be taking orders upon request :P

After much drying time the end was in sight. Knobs were screwed into place.

And when the “drawers” where in put into place, I new my feet would be forever safe, my gems given the respectful homes they deserve, and my bank account would breathe a sigh of relief.

…For now.

You never know how many friends you have…until you start...

Tue, 18 Dec 2012 02:47:13 +0100

You never know how many friends you have…until you start making Christmas cards. Happy Holidays everyone!

How I (Christmas) Roll

Thu, 13 Dec 2012 19:52:21 +0100

Some might remember last year, when I lamented the lack of big, poofy, christmas bows. Well, I might be a spoiled brat, but when I whined, it was because this is my Christmas supply over here:

Christmas gift bags, boxes, paper, and ribbon out the yang. And let’s not forget of course…

…my precious!
Christmas is serious business yo.

How to Travel to Ottawa

Thu, 06 Dec 2012 17:13:56 +0100

1. Take a train to Schipol (1-ish hours)

2. Fly in “en vliegtuig” (8+ hours)
(realise you have no socks. Buy something to keep yo feet warm. Regret nothing.)

3. Take a shuttle bus to a tiny, creepy train station in Montreal.
(notice that your camera has died from the cold.)

4. Wait for 2 hours. Steal Wi-fi from the First Class cafe.

5. Take a train to Ottawa. Be the only one on the train (2+ hours)

6. Get picked up at Ottawa station. (It’s 4am your time)

7. Fall through the front door. Make like your camera and die.

Oooooh Canaduuuuh!

Christmas is commin' early!

Tue, 27 Nov 2012 11:25:32 +0100

This time next Monday I’ll be on a plane, headin’ home for Christmas. Somehow or another, I have to fit all this stuff in my suitcase, and hope no one inspects it :P

The theme is Dutch novelties and other lovely things that aren’t found back home (<ahem> Belgian beers).

I’m very excited to bring such treasures home…but I might have forgotten some things. Do you have any last-minute recommendations that I simply MUST expose my fellow Canadians to?

Bedankt!

It's (not) all the same

Sun, 18 Nov 2012 13:49:28 +0100

Okay Holland, we need to talk. I’ve given you the benefit of the doubt every time you’ve said “these dropjes taste different,” and each time that has proven to be a lie.

You have been doing this on purpose haven’t you?

The thing is, I actually LIKE black liquorice As a child, I remember being gifted lots of black jelly beans because no one else could stand them. I seemed to think that…when I came here…this would be something we’d have in common.

Oh how wrong I was…

Is a candy that is salty as bacon still a candy? Personally, I think not. However, it would seem I’ve got an entire country disagreeing with me—arguing with me; presenting me with “local dropjes” that are SO DIFFERENT than the others.

Well, “dankuwel voor de snoepje,” but I must be honest. They taste so gross that I don’t think I’ll ever be able to tell the difference. If all you can taste is terrible, the only thing you’re paying attention to is…

Signed,

- a lady who no longer trusts liquorice.

The best thing about my new home is who I share it with. Side...

Wed, 14 Nov 2012 10:00:27 +0100

The best thing about my new home is who I share it with.

Side note: wish large apartments on your enemies. They will be excited about it-until they paint the ceilings.

This is a bed...

Sun, 11 Nov 2012 12:56:25 +0100

…and this…

…and this too…

…apparently.

Is there really a bed behind all that cardboard? Tune in next episode to find out!