Excessive: extreme to the point of being unnecessary
Example: when you connect a North American device to a European power adapter in order to make it compatible to a second, UK power adapter.
We took a holiday to Greece. We stayed close to the bitch who was verry hot.
We went to the shopping place and I bought a lot of clout.
We have a badroom end a chicken in my realy big hous.
Mind the Crap
So, I was going to start this post with a picture like I usually do, but I couldn’t bring myself to type “big, steaming pile of dog crap on an ornately cobbled stone sidewalk” into Google search, because there are some things you should NEVER type into Google search.
(Ever.)
That being said, you’re just going to have to conjure up images yourself of rotting canine defacates peppered about your path to work, or school, or anywhere really.
Pigeon Carousel
Pigeon gets on ride.
Carousel spins
Other pigeons wait their turn.
(Yes, this is newsworthy. I stood forever watching these dudes try to eat from the feeder whilst giggling excitedly.)
I've never even been to Israel
- Man: Where in Israel are you from?
- Me: ...Uh, I'm not from Israel.
- Man: Oh! You look Jewish though. Doesn't she?
- Man's friends: <chatter in aggreeance>
- Me: ...What exactly about me is it that you think looks Jewish?
- Man: Oh, nothing. Nevermind. Goodbye.
- Me: ...(wait, don't go! Now I'm so curious!)
How I Gassed Myself While Putting on Makeup: a story for the unlucky ones
Long story short, I unknowingly triggered a chemical reaction that created a dangerous gas, and then exposed myself to it.
How did I do this? Well…um…I used the washroom.
It’s not what you think. It’s actually WAY funnier (but also scarier) than that…
Misplaced Recognition
- Laurence: Hey Denise! Congratulations!
- Me: ...Thanks! uh, what did I do?
- Laurence: ...Well, it's Marianne and Michaels wedding anniversary?
- Me: ...<puzzled face>
- Turns out Dutch people congratulate each other at birthdays and special events, even if they are not directly involved in the event.
- Note: must remember to congratulate everyone ELSE when it's MY birthday
“I dine in one country, sleep in another, and crap somewhere in between.”
Okay, so there’s this place in the Netherlands that is ALSO Belgium, like I’m talking paint by numbers style, chunks of Belgium mashed against chunks of the Netherlands. This place about 10km away from the Belgian border, has two separate names, and has been this way since 1198CE.
It’s kinda crazy.
